i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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