If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I cut my penus on the lid.
my being single is dangerous.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
