I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
