Have you finally orgasmed yet?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Randomize
