Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just want to make out with him forever
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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