This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I forget how to act sober
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
