Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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