Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
