So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
