I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
