you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
