You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
