I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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