Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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