Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
