i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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