u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
