she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize