I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
