my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
