Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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