It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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