All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
