YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
