on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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