remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
