So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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