what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I need to calm my uterus...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
