i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
birth control should be required to get into college
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
