my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
