i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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