so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
