so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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