would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
