I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just cropdusted the office
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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