It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Welp...herpes.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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