so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Randomize
