no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
