ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
