He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
