i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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