giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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