I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Randomize
