her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
