Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize