A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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