you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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