I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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