I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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