I molested 6 butterflies tonight
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
How naked do you want me to be?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
