yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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