I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
