your thong is hanging out like whoa
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
