I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
