lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
