Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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