I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
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