does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
