Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
